The Florist

 "You sure about this?"

"Why not?"

"I should go."

"It's Valentine's Day and I'm your wife, so shut it."

The Difference

 

I once dated a man with a twin.

Fight Me!

 

If she says "Fight me!", she's actually asking for a threesome.

Trust Issues

 

Generally, men don't have trust issues with women.

Just One Problem

 

Daily sex is good for women.

Prince Charming

 

Fuck prince charming. Go for the wolf.

After Sex

 

PAST is a waste paper.

Just A Little Concerned...

 

Y'all married people holding up ok?

Exchange Of Power

 

When a man loves a woman, she becomes his weakness.

Favorite Pastime

 

Blowjob? Nah.

Happy Wife

 

Can't make five times a day? Make four.

Life Saver

 

Being broke with no help never ruined me.

Paradox

 

It seems to go against common sense but may still be true.

Never Try Never Know

Not all exes are bad.

Rat Race

 

When you try your hardest not to be a fucker,

A Small Favor

 

Guys, listen, I had a car accident last week.

You Know What

 

Hi there, good morning.

Good Morning

 

This is what I want in the morning.

Peace

 

I won't argue with you, let's agree to disagree.

Guilt

 

There's something wrong with me.