Lack Of Sex

 

Denial

 

My boyfriend is a vegan.

Just One Problem

 

Daily sex is good for women.

Be Kind

 Be kind to others.
You just never know what someone is going through.

The Dentist

 

Finally, Matt realized why his boyfriend
had to go to the dentist's office so often.

A Man's Heart

 The correct way to hold a man's heart:

You're welcum.

Love Story

 Mutual Consent:

And they live happily ever after.

The Unforgettable

 

Someone once told me:

Naomi And Lana

 Naomi: "Did you know that my name spelled backwards is
              'I MOAN'? That's funny because I love moaning."

Lana: "You can just fuck off with your silly games."

Affairs

 Her: He's clueless that I've been fucking his best friend.

Him: Why does her pussy taste like Steve's dick?

Just In Case

 I watch zombie-movies just to be
prepared in case it really happens.

Same thing with porn.

Miserable

 Only married people can understand...

... how you can be miserable and more miserable at the same time.

Wrong Place

 

Kevin, it's okay, you're not fat.

Cause Of Death

 Married men tend to live shorter.

Cause: Heart Attack

Discrimination

 

How come "you're a peach" is a compliment but...

So True!

 

Success is like being pregnant.