Best Porn

 "Bill, wanna watch porn on my flat screen mirror?"

"Mia, I thought you would never ask!"

Birthday Present

 The birthday present for my boyfriend:

You can't imagine how thrilled he was!

Beautiful Souls

 

I like weird people.

New Year's Resolution

 

My new year's resolution is go to the gym twice a week.

Awkward Silence

 

He said I'm kinda handsome for an ugly dude.

Whatever You Do

 

You could be standing next to someone who...

A Man's Heart

 The correct way to hold a man's heart:

You're welcum.

Coexistence

 

You can be a genuine, loyal and good-hearted person.

Vibrancy

 

I'm not for everyone...

Replacement

 

He's a wise man, he once told me:

It Makes His Day

 

Paul sent me a text that said, "Your great"

Moon And Stars

 

My ex once told me:

Three Promises

 

Bill, will you marry me?

Men's Advantage

 

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Paradise

 

I don't know why men go to bars to meet women.

After Sex

 

PAST is a waste paper.

Good Deed

 

That day a massage therapist knocked on my door,

Two Idiots

 

My ex is somewhere telling her new boyfriend that...

Exchange Of Power

 

When a man loves a woman, she becomes his weakness.

First Time

 

Babe, wanna try it?