Birds Of A Feather

 

I don't always attract what I am. I sometimes
attract people who are in need of what I am.

A distinction without a difference.

Cold Fish

 The fastest way to put a smile on a cold fish's face.

Cockcrow

 At the break of dawn
I rise above the horizon
with the sun beside

Despite my biggest doubts
I keep on moving forward
with the faith in hand

By Leaps And Bounds

 

Every time you see me, I'll be doing
better than the last time you saw me.

The Florist

 "You sure about this?"

"Why not?"

"I should go."

"It's Valentine's Day and I'm your wife, so shut it."

Undebatable

 

The best blowjob doesn't come from the mouth.

The Pâtissier

 He is a good pâtissier, but not great.

Coz he always looks tastier than the food.

Rejections

 

A man unlocks his true powers when he
no longer gives a fuck about rejections.

Mission: AI

 My goal for 2025 is to complete the goal of 2024
which I had set in 2023 while wasting 2022,
which is to live a celibate life for one whole year.
I call it Mission: AI (Almost Impossible)

Wish me luck and Happy New Year!

Surreal

"Your cock seems surreal, Santa."

"No shit, but it's what you've always wanted, isn't it?"

Aunt Margaret

 

Three things about my aunt and her husband:

If You Will...

 

Call me 'bad boy' if you want to, but...

Swordsmen

 

She failed as a Disney princess.

Frivolous Activity

 

Relaxing isn't a sign of laziness. It's a source of energy.

Regret

 I still don't know what my dream job is but..
I should have studied hard and become a pilot.

As Simple As That

 

Every man wants a woman no other man can touch.

Golden Rule

 Golden Rule #69

Everything looks fun when it's absolutely wet.

Pick Your Seat

 

Pick your seat, anytime, anywhere.

Stay Calm

 A white couple gets a black baby.

The angry husband asks:
"You're white, I'm white. Why is baby black?"

The calm wife answers:
"You're hot, I'm hot. The baby burnt."

Easy-going

 

I'm an easy-going person.