Lack Of Sex

 

Some Men

 Relationship goal for some men:

Find a woman who treats him like the prince he is.

Hands Down!

 

Actions always speak louder and she knows it.

Problem Solved

 

The innocent won't understand what problem is being solved.

Just In Case

 I watch zombie-movies just to be
prepared in case it really happens.

Same thing with porn.

Miserable

 Only married people can understand...

... how you can be miserable and more miserable at the same time.

Men's Advantage

 

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Poor Doggy

 

Poor doggy! Just tell me where she is and I'll be on my way!

Cause Of Death

 Married men tend to live shorter.

Cause: Heart Attack

After Wedding

 When I said I'd do anything for her,
I meant fight bad guys and kill dragons...

I never meant this.

Discrimination

 

How come "you're a peach" is a compliment but...

Married Women

 

A man with principles!

Unless

 

Sex before marriage is a sin,

I'm OK

 

Yeah well...

So True!

 

Success is like being pregnant.

No Offence But...

 

She came back home with a dude.

A stubborn cock

 

I've been sucking it for 30 minutes, I'm so tired.

Wet Life

 

I'm a nerd.

Money well spent

 

It's good to hire a driver, especially...

Suck it?

 

Hey, you wanna suck it?