I Would If I Could

 "The longer you go without something, the more
comfortable you are without, that goes for sex too."

Those were the most powerful words I saw online today,
although I have no intention of proving them at all.

Tagalong

 Have you ever felt unwanted?
No matter how you value their company,
no matter what feelings are involved,
don't be a third wheel.

Just So You Know

 Just a friendly reminder: No matter how horny you are...

Don't ever respond with "my cock"...

Not Okay

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Golden Rule

 Golden Rule #69

Everything looks fun when it's absolutely wet.

Pick Your Seat

 

Pick your seat, anytime, anywhere.

His Heart

 When a man says he will give you his heart:

You are welcum...

Lack Of Sex

 

Some Men

 Relationship goal for some men:

Find a woman who treats him like the prince he is.

Hands Down!

 

Actions always speak louder and she knows it.

Problem Solved

 

The innocent won't understand what problem is being solved.

Just In Case

 I watch zombie-movies just to be
prepared in case it really happens.

Same thing with porn.

Miserable

 Only married people can understand...

... how you can be miserable and more miserable at the same time.

Men's Advantage

 

Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up?

Poor Doggy

 

Poor doggy! Just tell me where she is and I'll be on my way!

Cause Of Death

 Married men tend to live shorter.

Cause: Heart Attack

After Wedding

 When I said I'd do anything for her,
I meant fight bad guys and kill dragons...

I never meant this.

Discrimination

 

How come "you're a peach" is a compliment but...

Married Women

 

A man with principles!

Unless

 

Sex before marriage is a sin,